Here's the blurb . . .
Every Asian girl who has ever tried online dating, whether on POF, OKCupid, or Match has experienced it: messages from Creepy White Guys with Asian fetishes. I just got back into the dating scene and am already being bombarded with some absolutely horrifying messages. I've collected some of the best ones here, and I welcome any additions to my collection.
If you check out the link and read some of the comments, it's pretty distressing. I sometimes forget just how racist and ignorant people can be, but the Internet usually reminds me. I've recently written a number of posts about racism and objectification in relation to East Asian women (or women of East Asian descent) so I feel I don't need to write another long-winded article about that too soon. Regardless, here's a summing up of my views on the matter . . . (ahem)
Ethnically non-white communities have been major parts of both Canada's and America's national community for over a century. I find it ridiculous that non-white Canadians and/or Americans continue to be socially marginalized within their own respective countries.
I understand there are other issues and elements involved in "the race issue" discourse, but this is currently the basic view I hold. So naturally when I read some of the posts on this Creepy White Guys Tumblr page my reactions went from eye-rolling "Seriously?" to "Eeeewww. . ." Then I got the idea that if one were to pull a role reversal on a number of these comments, we would see just how ridiculous stereotyping actually is. Hence I have decided to take three of the less vulgar (but still racist) illogical comments that I found on the page and write equally illogical responses to them. First I've written the original comment and the blogger's response and then my hypothetical response to it. Though these may be good for a laugh, it's also important to see just how stupid stereotyping actually is. These are apparently real comments, people.
1. Original Comment
"I noticed one of your favorite books is The Joy Luck Club, have you read The Kitchen God's Wife? It's also by Amy Tan, it's about how Asian men are really bad to their wives and so Asian women look for white guys who support and care for them instead. I'm that kind of white guy =). I highly recommend that book.
"I’m starting to see a trend here: the only thing creepier than white guys’ obsessions with Asian women may be their obsession with insulting Asian men."
My Hypothetical Response
"Wow, it seems you possess a great and unique understanding of Amy Tan's works! Who knew that The Kitchen God's Wife was actually an allegory for how awesome white guys are? Incidentally, have you ever read Shakespeare's Hamlet? It's about this white guy who tries to kill his mother and stepfather because he feels they were responsible for his biological father's death. The dude in the story also drives a young girl to insanity and she kills herself and everything! It's pretty famous. Do you have a stepfather? Have you ever driven anyone to insanity or tried to murder your mother? If not, maybe we could meet up sometime ; )"
2. Original Comment
"I am a very distinguished and wealthy white man. I work in the high paying finance field where I manage million dollar accounts, I'm in great shape and regularly compete in triathlons, and I believe in always attaining the best, whether the car I drive or the homes I own. Many women find themselves attracted to me, but I am only interested in the best: Asian women. Why is that? Could it be their fine skin and long silky hair? Could it be the fact that unlike white women, they remember what it's like to be a woman: to be docile and submissive and respectful to a man? Could it be their delicate, playful personalities? I believe it is all of the above . . . and more! As I mentioned before, I am wealthy and have a lot of status in this country. If you have many of the qualities associated with Asian women I mentioned above, you and I would be an amazing match =)"
"A man who is distinguished, wealthy, competes in triathlons … AND is white?!? Ai yaah, I must call mother already and tell her I am ready to get married! How wonderful that as an Asian woman, I am on the same level as the cars you drive and the many homes you own! It must be my docile nature and long silky hair.. PUKE!!!!!"
My Hypothetical Response
"A man of distinguished taste, I see. I'm glad that my silky hair and fair skin have not gone unnoticed. I see you've been reading Marco Polo's latest accounts of life in China. We 'exotic peaches of the Orient' do try to educate ourselves on proper feminine etiquette. I would love to take you up on your offer but I simply can't believe you compete in triathlons or are in 'great shape' as you say. I've heard that nasty things like obesity, bad teeth, gout, and syphilis are common among rich white guys, and I've also heard that they are impotent and sometimes inbred. There's this rich white guy named George IV who lives in England or some place in Europe and he's like always gambling and cheating on his wife and getting STDs and stuff, which is totally gross! Nice try, but I've read enough P.G. Wodehouse to know to say no to rich white guys."
"P.S. If you have any long-lost treasures from my ancestors' countries of origin, could you kindly return them? Thanks."
|When you read the original comment, did you not envision someone like this? I know I did!|
3. Original Comment
"Konichiwa! I want you to know you are beauitufl [this typo was in the original], like a lotus flower. I am crazy about Asian stuff, like the culture, the martial arts, the food, the anime and of course the women. I have studied many martial arts and know how to protect a woman, and how to treat her right. I would love to get to know you. Arrigatou!" -- RichB
"Really, RichB? I’m “beauitufl,” like a fucking lotus flower? And clearly, the only Asian country that exists is Japan, which is why I speak Japanese and am oh so impressed that you started your message with “Konichiwa!”… BARF!!!"
My Hypothetical Answer
"Guten tag, mein herr. I see that you're a connoisseur of languages like myself! I want you to know that your head seems wrinkled and strong like a walnut. I'm gaga (ya know, like Lady Gaga?) for European stuff like bratwurst, Ferraris, and Tintin! I love crushing grapes with my feet while listening to opera. I would have loved to get to know you too, but I don't know what 'arrigatou' means. Better luck next time!
до свидания, comrade!"
So there you have it. What I hoped to illustrate here is how silly and illogical stereotyping is from a purely common-sense point of view. My responses were just as ridiculous as the original comments were, using the same logic to answer illogical questions. I hope it worked.
Whenever I see stuff like this, I can't help but imagine what I would have written in response to such ridiculously racist and plain stupid comments. These weren't even the worst comments up there; I just thought they were among the most idiotic. It seems to me that a lot of these men just don't understand that Asian-Americans and Asian . . . uh . . . Asians are, at least culturally, two totally different communities of people. They also don't seem to realize that time affects us all the same way and that, just like here in North America, East Asia has made significant social and technological strides in the past century! WHAT A SURPRISE! This means that women are treated quite a bit differently than they were 50 years ago. Ya know, like in North America too! It's like these people have never met a real Asian person. I mean, I would have to assume that if any of these men had ever actually dated an Asian or Asian-American woman, they would know that they don't reflect the outdated stereotypes that keep getting flung at these poor women on a daily basis.
Also, on a side note, East Asia is one of the most densely populated areas in the world. Do you seriously believe that, in this day and age, every East Asian women is an ambitionless, submissive, and docile pet bred for man-pleasing!? It's impossible, based on the law of averages alone. THINK ABOUT IT. Better yet, meet a real Asian woman and see for yourself!
I've said this once and I'll say it again: If you like East Asian women and are not East Asian yourself, that's not inherently a bad thing. But for goodness' sake try actually frickin' learning something about these people! Read my blog! Better yet, read blogs by the myriad Asian-American bloggers who put out stuff everyday on these issues. Here is a good place to start.